How to Calm Anxious Brain Chatter: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Tips for Anxiety

By Eleanor McGlinchey, PhD

I often work with people who struggle with anxious thoughts, describing their experience as a non-stop inner monologue of worries. Or playing out feared or worst case scenarios one after the other. I also talk to many people who fall into an unhelpful trap of believing that they should not feel anxious in the situation they’re in. Sometimes the belief comes from seeing others in similar situations who don’t appear anxious so they think “I shouldn’t be getting anxious over this” or they’ve been told by others that they “have nothing to worry about.” Wherever the anxiety comes from or whatever the unhelpful thoughts about the anxiety are, it is often necessary to address both of these in order to see a reduction in anxiety.

Anxiety is natural and necessary

As a psychologist, I often clarify that anxiety is not inherently a “bad” state of being. Anxiety is a natural response to perceived danger or threat in our surroundings. It’s absolutely necessary to keep us safe and responsive to our surroundings. However, sometimes our brains have difficulty distinguishing what is a true “threat” or not, or being able to shift gears after the threat is over.

For example, I work with many people with insomnia where at one point, there was a threat at night that required them to stay somewhat alert or awake at night. This could be a newborn baby who requires feeding for survival or caring for a sick or recovering loved one who needs monitoring. The anxiety in these cases help to keep you awake and alert so that they can attend to the “threat” their brains are identifying.

However, your anxiety can start to become automatic, habitual, or feel “necessary” in some way. This might mean that sometimes you become used to waking up at night and feeling persistent anxiety or alertness even though the original threat may have resolved. 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) can be helpful in situations like this when anxiety persists in the absence of a threat. One of the most effective ways to manage anxiety is to face the threat and talk back to it. It is acknowledging our anxious thoughts and countering them with more useful thoughts that help us in the moment. These thoughts may be better in line with the reality of the current situation (e.g., the threat is no longer present), are more balanced, or encourage perseverance when approaching a worrying situation (e.g., I can do this because I have done it before). 

Acknowledging valid reasons to feel anxious

However, I must also acknowledge that many times the threat is one that may be unclear or even one that clearly does persist. An example of an unclear threat is a person who has a healthy heart and has been “cleared” by a doctor but also has a strong family history of heart disease. This person may feel anxious about potentially benign heart palpitations because of the lingering threat of past family traumas with heart disease. There are also many cases where the threat is real and not easily resolved. For example, people of color are often on some level of alert for overt and covert forms of racism, as racism poses very real risks to that person’s wellbeing and relationships. For this reason, CBT for anxiety must go beyond approaching feared situations and challenging anxious thoughts. It must also seek to empower individuals to acknowledge their anxiety as valid and redefine their experiences in a way that supports thriving. 

5 Tips to calm your anxious brain chatter

Below are 5 tips to start calming your own anxious brain chatter. Working with a CBT therapist can help to hone these skills further for additional individualized support.

Tip 1: Notice and name your anxious thoughts.

Very often our anxious thoughts are like background chatter. We might feel the anxiety and distress but it can be hard to identify the specific thoughts associated with the anxiety. For instance, if you're feeling anxious about an upcoming job interview, your anxious thoughts might be chattering in the background of your day along the lines of “not good enough”, “never gonna happen”, or “disaster.” However, naming these thoughts can help you identify them when they arise and intervene before they derail your day. This is like getting into a car tuned into a radio station with music. Once you become aware of what’s actually playing (versus not noticing whatever background music it is), you can choose what to do next (e.g., change the radio station or lower the volume). 

Tip 2: Challenge your anxious thoughts.

Once you've identified your anxious thoughts, you can first try to challenge them. Ask yourself, "Is this thought based on reality, or is it my anxiety talking?" Often anxious thoughts are not based on evidence but are driven by fear and uncertainty. When we really pause, we often recognize our thoughts are actually strong opinions or concerns, but not facts of the situation. As in the example of the job interview, you might be able to challenge the anxious thought with something like, "It is possible I might not get the job this time. But they invited me for an interview, which doesn’t happen to everyone. I I have valuable skills and experience to offer, and there are other opportunities out there."

Tip 3: Practice self-compassion.

Anxiety can be incredibly debilitating, and fighting it is exhausting. Therefore, it can be very helpful to practice self-compassion as you talk back to your anxious thoughts. This could be a blog post all on its own but the short version is that it means putting less pressure on yourself, by being kind to yourself and acknowledging that anxiety is a challenging emotion to manage. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend who was having self-blaming or anxious thoughts. Most likely, you would respond kindly to a friend by offering words of support. Offer yourself those same words with support and patience as you work through your anxious thoughts.

Tip 4: Try mindfulness techniques to get back to the present tense.

There is already some great information in a previous post on utilizing mindfulness. Mindfulness can help you feel grounded when your anxious chatter feels like it is sweeping you away. Mindfulness can help you stay in the present and focused when anxiety threatens to overwhelm you. Anxiety is always future oriented, so when we’re anxious we rarely pay attention to what’s actually real and happening in front of us. Even taking just a few minutes in between the busy tasks of your day to notice your surroundings and take deep breaths can help calm the anxious chatter. 

Tip 5: Find a CBT therapist for anxiety.

A therapist trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety might help you to utilize some of the above techniques but can also help you identify the root causes of your anxiety. Often discovering where your anxiety is coming from can help you to develop coping strategies that are personalized to your specific situations. A CBT therapist can also provide essential support as you work through your anxious thoughts and move toward thriving. 

About the Author: Like everyone, Dr. McGlinchey can have anxious thoughts and be hard on herself. Thankfully, she works with some great psychologists at MTC who remind her how to practice self-compassion, take deep breaths, and challenge anxious thoughts.