How to Find a Therapist in NYC according to psychologists
By Drs. Foster-Mahfuz, Hargitay, Loo, & McGlinchey
NYC is a wonderful place for therapy - because there is wide acceptance and encouragement to invest in your own mental health and many therapists to choose from. However having a lot of options can feel more like a challenge than an opportunity, especially if it’s your first time looking for a therapist. It’s easy to get overwhelmed or feel lost when you’re checking out multiple therapist websites or directories. All therapist profiles can start to blur together, or there may be jargon you’re unfamiliar with. Or you may not know yet what works for you, or simply know you didn’t have a great past therapy experience. Sometimes by the time you’re interested in seeking therapy - you have something in mind you’d like to work on, and are ready to get started yesterday. We understand - but discourage you from rushing through the search process if you can. Working with a therapist is an extraordinary investment of yourself, in addition to time and money. Being patient during the search can pay off and become an exercise in self-reflection. Narrowing down your preferences or an idea of what you’re looking for will increase the likelihood of a good therapist fit and a positive therapy experience.
How to find a therapist in NYC - 3 questions to ask yourself
We encourage people to ask themselves a few starting questions when looking for a therapist:
Who do you imagine yourself feeling comfortable and safe opening up to? (e.g., therapist identity preference)
What kinds of concerns or topics are you hoping to address in therapy? (e.g., therapist specialty area)
Are there practical considerations that will narrow down your search? (e.g., must accept insurance, your budget, availability, location/online)
When you have answers to these questions, you can use them as keywords or utilize search filters to your advantage versus endlessly scrolling search results. When asking others for referrals, you can share a brief description of what it is you’re looking for so they have more tailored information to keep in mind. When reaching out to a potential therapist, you can be more prepared to speak about your interests and needs, therefore having a more focused and informative conversation that clarifies your decision-making process. Our psychologists also weigh in with tips of their own!
Tip #1: Ask your potential therapist questions - don’t be shy
Dr. McGlinchey: I usually start by encouraging someone to reflect on a few questions they’d like to follow up with, ranging from practical to relational. For example, when it comes to the practical, how much are your fees or what’s the expectation around submitting invoices to insurance? Or what does a typical session look like or the days between sessions - do your patients usually have specific action steps or "homework" they focus on each week? Being prepared with some questions not only guides your search but gives you a sense of what working with your potential therapist may feel like every week. It can also give you a point of reference or comparison if you are trying to make a decision between a few therapist options.
Tip #2: Think about your therapy goals
Dr. Foster-Mahfuz: I recently had an initial consultation with a prospective client. After the customary discussion of her main concerns and relevant screening questions, the person then asked me several interview-like questions. And I am here for it. Sure, I felt a little put on the spot. But ultimately, it told me a number of things: this person is developing a clearer idea of what she needs from this work, she is committed to the working alliance, and she's done her homework. I think having a few therapy goals will help you form questions that help you gauge if a therapist is someone you want to talk to. Also pause and think if you are thinking about therapy as a short-term or a long-term investment. What you need in the short term can be different than what you may need in the longer term. Perhaps you need to address anxiety that is interfering with work right now, but in the longer term, you want to work on being more assertive and interpersonally more savvy when it comes to professional and personal relationships.
Tip #3: Get curious about types of talk therapy
Dr. Hargitay: When patients meet with me for the first time, I ask them about their goals, previous therapy experience, or what they're looking for. Sometimes patient answers can be vague. Examples may include, "my last therapist let me vent and I felt heard" or "my therapist gave me good advice." If I ask what type of therapeutic approach or “theoretical orientation” their last therapist used, many often don’t know or don’t know what that means - which can be disorienting at best and disempowering at worst. In layperson terms, theoretical orientation refers to a philosophical compass that a therapist uses to understand the cause of your concerns and how to best address them. It guides the direction your therapy will go. While all theoretical orientations aim to reduce emotional distress and encourage health, they often go about it in different ways. Take depression as an example. A behavioral therapist may troubleshoot current obstacles to physical activity and help you build actionable goals to improve energy level and mood. A psychodynamically oriented therapist may ask questions about your past experiences to understand how your depression symptoms came about. In both cases, the patient's depression symptoms are in focus, but the way to understand and address them can look very different. The next time you're meeting with a prospective therapist or are with your current therapist (and you don't know already), it may be worth asking what their theoretical orientation is and how it relates to your therapy.
Tip #4: Prioritize multiculturally responsive therapy
Dr. Loo: If you are a BIPOC person and this is an important part of who you are or what you’d like to speak about in therapy - I encourage you to ask your prospective therapist if and how they discuss racial identity in sessions - regardless of what you assume about their background. This is true for all marginalized identities (e.g., gender, sexuality, religion, etc). It’s so important that you can imagine being yourself and working well with the therapist you choose. It can be hard to speak up - and looking for a therapist may be one of the few times you are unapologetically expressing what you specifically want and need from a relationship. My advice is to speak up - and keep speaking up! Even after all your preliminary questions have been asked and answered - I think it is helpful when looking for a new therapist to ask how often you can plan a check-in to see how things are going in therapy. Having a regular opportunity to ensure that you are on the same page - both in the length of time for therapy and your experience of its direction, pace, and level of support - promotes honest and clear communication, a stronger therapy relationship, and that you get what you’re looking for.
About the Authors: Drs. Foster-Mahfuz, Hargitay, Loo, & McGlinchey are licensed psychologists in the state of New York and love what they do. They love answering questions about getting started with therapy.