Individual therapy for relationship issues & dating in NYC
Our team of therapists with doctoral-level training bring a wealth of knowledge about interpersonal dynamics and expertise in helping you create healthy and loving connections with your significant other. We also want to support you in being a partner that is capable of giving and receiving love and care.
Being good at anything takes time, effort, practice, and lots of support. The same is true of being a healthy romantic partner.
Whether you’re dating, married, or single - having an external, nonjudgmental perspective is valuable and can help you gain clarity on dynamics that are hard to pinpoint on your own. Maybe you have a clear sense of what’s off but no clue how to move forward. Our therapists can help you see what’s getting in the way and make the practical changes you’re interested in so you have a satisfying relationship. If you’re interested in therapy for relationship issues, book a free 15-minute consultation.
Signs and common causes of relationship stress
Chronic frustration or repeated, unwanted patterns in relationship
Avoiding conflict or important conversations and building resentment
Dissatisfaction or anxiety about sex life
Difficulties with vulnerability, trust, or connection
Challenges with communication, boundaries, or expressing needs to a partner
Relationship dynamics seeping into parenting
Ambivalence about the future
Navigating cross cultural dynamics or identity differences with partner
Personal trauma or mental health hindering relationship growth
Processing a breakup, separation, or divorce
When should I seek individual therapy for relationship issues?
Any time is a great time to consider therapy for relationship issues. Waiting until you’re regularly losing it on your partner or you’re one foot out the door isn’t too late to be in therapy - but you might have a little more work to do and more simply, we wish you had the support you deserved earlier. Sometimes the sooner you understand what’s at the heart of things, the more stress you may be able to spare yourself.
The truth is all healthy relationships are hard, worthwhile work, so no time is a bad time to seek professional support. Movies and social media project incredibly unrealistic ideas about how relationships should be. Such as if it’s the “right” person, you just “know” - and everything should feel natural and easy from start to finish. It’s just not true. While it’s true that compatibility feels great and can simplifies things, the normal ups and downs of relationships are fertile soil for personal growth and deepened intimacy.
Benefits of relationship therapy
Whether or not you think you’re “the problem”, all relationship dynamics are co-created, so being in therapy to address your part in the dynamic is always helpful. All romantic partners could use extra perspective and non-judgmental support in understanding our reactions, patterns in our relationship history, or why certain aspects of connection or trust are challenging.
Individual therapy for relationship issues can catalyze some helpful changes or answer questions so you feel more confident moving forward. A professional perspective, unlike friends and family, can point out aspects of your experiences you may not have noticed before. Having your own therapy can be a time for you to work on your own mental health or unresolved experiences that may be straining your relationship. Trust, sex, vulnerability, and how to have healthy conflict are all important pieces of a relationship that can come with lots of baggage from the past.
Keep in mind that the connection you form with your therapist is in many ways, an intimate kind of relationship too. The therapy relationship you create often mirrors how you function in close relationships and can become a unique space to safely observe how you are with openness and sharing. Being able to do so in a space where there is unconditional support is a unique opportunity we encourage you to take!
Therapy for cross-cultural relationship stress
All relationships are cross-cultural to some degree - as no two people are identical. Whether you share the same sexuality, religion, culture, gender, ethnicity, or race - you will differ from your partner in some way. The balance of sharing similarities and celebrating differences is a continual process between partners requiring honest communication and compassion.
However, when your identities differ from your partner’s in ways that are visible or mean you belong to separate groups or communities (interfaith and interracial relationships) - there can be unique challenges that come up in your relationship that are hard to talk about. Interracial and interfaith marriages still represent the minority of marriages in the US, which means if you’re in one - it can be easy to feel lonely navigating your unique dynamics.
Unique issues for partners in cross-cultural relationships
Partners in cross-cultural relationships can face familial or community disapproval, public scrutiny, and negative biases based on stereotypes. It can be frustrating trying to explain or process your relationship dynamics with others if they can’t relate. Struggling to feel understood without shared identity experiences, fear of losing or silencing a key part of yourself, or navigating differences in worldview, lifestyle, or coparenting can become big stressors.
Working with a multiculturally trained therapist is important because they can help you process the unique stressors or nuances of what it means to you to be in a cross-cultural relationship. Your therapist can help you reflect on your own intersectional identities, how you experience your partner’s identity, and how that affects relationship building and connection.
How does individual therapy for relationship issues work?
Working with a therapist in individual therapy for romantic relationships can be extraordinarily helpful. As relationships usually bring up vulnerability and strong emotions, it’s hard to see ourselves with total clarity without some external perspective.
Example therapy goals in individual therapy:
Understand your part in relationship dynamics
Work on personal trauma or unresolved feelings that are stressing your relationship
Learn conflict resolution skills
Learn how to express emotions or needs openly
Unpack past relationship experiences and how they affect you
Learn effective responses to conflict and hurt
Practice appropriate boundary setting and vulnerability
Discuss your sexuality or sex life with support
Discuss cross-cultural dynamics or challenges of being in an interracial/ethnic/cultural/faith relationship
Navigate significant changes in relationships (e.g., moving in together, learning to co-parent, a medical diagnosis, etc)
Process the effects of a breakup, separation, or divorce
Types of individual therapy for relationship issues
There are many types of individual therapy that effectively explore and address relationship issues. Here are some of the many approaches that our therapists are well-versed in and use.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT focuses on identifying the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors you have that may be useful to understand during tough relationship moments, like conflict or hurt. Understanding your own thought patterns or deeper core beliefs about relationships can be enormously helpful in terms of building a healthy, supportive relationship.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy focuses on teaching a number of emotional and behavioral strategies to manage and tolerate strong feelings. A key part of DBT is helping people increase what’s called interpersonal effectiveness, which includes communicating needs assertively and offering feedback.
Psychodynamic Therapy
Psychodynamic Therapy focuses on making connections between past experiences and their impact on your sense of self or relationships today. In particular, highlighting the effects of early attachments can help you gain insight into the “blueprint” you carried forward for romantic relationships today.
Multicultural Therapy
Multicultural therapy acknowledges the importance of celebrating individual differences and all identities as equal and valuable. Being in a relationship with a partner with different identities can be wonderful and challenging. Multicultural therapy helps you process what your identities (and your partner’s identities) mean to you, and how they express themselves in your relationship.
Relationship therapists in Midtown, Manhattan NYC
Our team of psychologists at Manhattan Therapy Collective are trained in a range of relational, multicultural, and evidence-based therapy approaches that are effective in supporting your mental health and how you feel about yourself as a romantic partner. Keeping concerns or questions to yourself - or trying to solve issues on your own can be lonely or discouraging.
Considering individual therapy for relationship issues can generate new insight and provide support in key moments of your own life and relationship. It can also benefit how you parent and how you function in a family. Interested in learning more? Book a free 15-minute consultation - we’d love to connect and answer your questions.
FAQs about therapy for dating & relationship issues
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No - we recommend that if you are in individual therapy and become interested in couples therapy with your partner - that you seek a separate couples therapist. While it may seem intuitive to have someone who already knows you and your relationship history to see you and your partner - it is important to have a couples therapist without preconceived ideas or biases in order to do their best work with you both. Furthermore, the role of a couples therapist is to support the relationship unit as a whole, not take sides - whereas part of what makes an individual therapist’s role special is their total commitment to advocating for you.