Therapy for major life transitions in NYC
Our team of therapists with doctoral-level training bring a wealth of knowledge about major stress and expertise in helping you navigate life transitions with self-compassion and resiliency. Life transitions can include moving to NYC, a new job or career pivot, a major change in relationship or family (having children, divorce), caring for aging parents, and much more.
The reality is, change is hard for everyone - because it means a lot disruption and uncertainty. Major changes also often mean a period of chaos or adjustment where being in therapy with consistent professional support can make a big difference in your mood and stress levels. We want to help you gain clarity, find your bearings, and adapt with self-compassion to whatever life transition you’re experiencing. If you’re interested in learning more, book a free, 15-minute consultation with us today.
Examples of major life transitions
Moving, purchasing or selling a home
Graduation
Career change (promotion, pivot, part-time, quitting, retirement)
Moving in with a partner, engagement, getting married
Death of a loved one
Adjusting to a new health diagnosis
Separation or divorce
Pregnancy or having a/another child, adoption
Leaving a community or faith practice
Perimenopause and menopause
Becoming a caretaker of a parent or partner
Starting a new business venture
How major life transitions affect your mental health
Noticeable increases in stress, feeling chronically overwhelmed
Imposter syndrome or feeling inadequate, a loss of self-trust or confidence
Increase in depression or anxiety
Loss of familiar connections or social support and having to start over (e.g., move, new job)
Ambivalence about new responsibilities and pressures
Grief over life change or prior sense of self/identity
Increased self criticism or decision paralysis
Unresolved anger or resentment
Relationship strain or conflict
Return of old habits or patterns that are unwanted
Change is always hard
Unfortunately, there’s no instruction manual for change, because everyone experiences life transitions differently. Sometimes it’s a single life event, other times it can be a slow shift into new life chapter. And once we get our bearings, it may happen again. Even when life transitions are expected they can be a challenge, such as becoming an empty nester or retirement. Even if some transitions are the right decisions, such as a breakup or divorce, they can be painful, messy, and uproot everything you knew that was familiar.
Even hard-earned or celebrated transitions like promotions, marriages, and a new addition to the family have their own sets of difficulties - and any struggle in these moments can get hidden under the rug because the pressure to be happy and grateful is so strong. And then the life-altering, devastating life transitions: the unexpected diagnosis or athletic injury, the sudden layoff, the death of a loved one. A universal truth we can learn to expect in life is that change happens. And most change is hard to navigate on your own because we don’t yet have perspective or a new normal.
What is resiliency?
The word resiliency is thrown around a lot, and there’s actually no singular definition. Is it a trait? A process, or a practice? An outcome? Is it only individual or can it also be collective? All of the above?
A common definition of resiliency is adapting and coping with life’s various challenges. But it’s essential to acknowledge that this framework privileges a hyper-individualistic way of being that often emphasizes internal perseverance or overcoming - which is not always possible, fair, or helpful.
Resiliency is different for each person and across each situation. It can entail things like flexibility, wisdom, the use of support, emotion regulation, and so much more. Resiliency is affected by epigenetics, psychosocial factors, personality, environments, and the resources or systems we have access to.
Everyone can grow in resiliency, and life transitions are often the most common moments for it, whether we like it or not. Ann Masten calls resiliency an “ordinary magic”.
Common stress-related disorders
While everyone experiences stress with life transitions, if your stress is overwhelming for an ongoing period of time, you may be struggling with what’s called an adjustment disorder. Adjustment disorders are directly connected to the stressor - once the stressor ends, the symptoms dissipate.
What is an adjustment disorder
Adjustment disorders are characterized by marked emotional and behavioral symptoms 3 months following an identifiable life stressor. Symptoms get in the way of daily functioning, relationships, or school and work responsibilities and resolve within 6 months after the stressor ends.
Negative effects of toxic positivity
The American dream is rooted in enduring optimism, and our language is full of sayings like “stay positive”, “good vibes only”, “look on the bright side” and the juicing advice to turn lemons into lemonade. Openness to situations working out, a nod to gratitude, or focusing on resourcefulness can be a helpful perspective shift, especially in response to runaway anxiety. But it can be sorely misused and land like a tone-deaf punch if you’re in the midst of a life transition that’s particularly hard.
When the pressure to be positive is pushed on you to bypass the emotional pain of a tough moment, it makes everything worse. As mentioned above, nearly all life transitions come with uncertainties, challenges, and a whole range of understandable feelings - including ambivalence, anger, sadness, grief, disappointment, and anxiety. The pressure to stay only positive encourages people to be inauthentic and isolate during key experiences of their life.
How can therapy during a life transition help?
There can be the misperception that since everyone goes through life transitions, we’re supposed to know how to handle them when it’s our turn. It’s simply not true. Therapy during a life transition can make a huge difference.
Examples of therapy goals during a life transition
Manage mood ups and downs
Grieve unwanted change and what’s hard to let go
Establish new connections or social supports
Accept and adjust to new roles or sense of self
Find perspective or rediscover priorities
Explore new directions for what’s next
Set new goals aligned with personal values
Strengthen self-trust and resiliency
Identify what meaningful and realistic self-care is in a new season of life
Types of therapy for life transitions
Interpersonal Therapy (IPT)
IPT looks at the connection between your relationships and mood. In short, IPT aims to improve interpersonal relationships in order to positively impact mood. It specifically focuses on the presence of interpersonal disputes, life transitions, unresolved grief, or social isolation as key stressors - all of which are common to experience in the midst of major life changes.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT focuses on identifying the connections between your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It’s understandable that during a major transition, a lot of new thoughts, strong feelings, and unfamiliar adjustments are a part of life. Working with a CBT therapist can help you clarify how you’re responding to change, and support balanced perspective and decision-making.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy focuses on teaching a number of emotional and behavioral strategies to manage and tolerate strong feelings. Major life transitions can be difficult, and DBT helps you respond effectively when you may be out of your comfort zone for awhile. Its practical approach to coping skills can help you feel grounded in the middle of a new normal.
Psychodynamic Therapy
Psychodynamic Therapy focuses on making connections between past experiences and their impact on your sense of self or relationships today. New life stages or an unexpected change can feel unsettling or bring up past unresolved experiences. Taking the time to make the connection between what’s coming up for you and how it relates to the past often feels clarifying and empowering.
Life transition therapists in NYC
Our team of psychologists at Manhattan Therapy Collective are trained in a number of relational, multicultural, and evidence based therapy approaches that are effective during life transitions, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.
We encourage you to reach out for support - we’d love to connect with you and answer your questions. Major life transitions can mean a temporary absence of perspective, confidence, and optimism. Or it can seem as though you’re expected to handle them independently and without help. Therapy can provide clarity, remind or help you discover your strengths, validate your emotions, and encourage hope for what’s next.
FAQs about therapy for life transitions
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We know our list couldn't cover every life transition. And we understand that sometimes a transition you didn't expect to impact you, does. Sometimes a transition is so hectic and stressful that you don't even have the time or space to process what's happening and therapy can be helpful when the dust has settled.
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It really depends on you and your situation. Our therapists always prioritize helping you identify your goals and what you’re hoping to get out of therapy when you start. Therapy can truly be short-term, such as 2-3 months, or as long as you need.
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You can, and some people benefit greatly from being able to discuss their thoughts, feelings, and plan prior to a major change in their lives. Others prefer to identify their major concerns first before finding a therapist. There’s no right answer. We suggest that you reflect on when you’re most likely to get the most out of working with a therapist and the scheduling of regular, weekly sessions. We also encourage you to pay attention to your mental health - if you are beginning to struggle with increasing anxiety or depression, we do recommend that you reach out.