Therapy for infertility or pregnancy loss in NYC

Our team of therapists with doctoral-level training bring a wealth of knowledge and expertise in helping women or partners process the complex feelings that come up with infertility and pregnancy loss.

While each experience is unique, what they all have in common is feeling out of control and uncertain about the future, because things haven’t been easy or gone according to plan. Many people struggling with infertility or who have miscarried are in pain and isolated. It’s a uniquely hard topic to share if people around you are happily expecting. Often no one knew you were pregnant yet or say the wrong things.

We offer compassionate and knowledgeable support for your emotional well-being throughout any of the unexpected challenges in your family planning journey. If you are struggling with infertility or experienced a recent pregnancy loss, know that you are not alone, and professional, specialized mental health support is available. Reach out to schedule a free 15-minute consultation today.

 

Understanding the impact of infertility or miscarriage on mental health

Infertility is defined as the failure to achieve a pregnancy after 12 months of regular, unprotected sex. In 2023, the World Health Organization stated that about 17% of the adult population will struggle with infertility over a lifetime. That’s 1 in 6 adults, regardless of gender, geography, or income level. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) estimates that between 10-25% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, and that 80% of the time it happens in the first trimester. Despite how common the experience of infertility or miscarriage is, it’s rarely discussed openly.

Even if you have social support through your experience, struggling with infertility can take a toll on your mental health and romantic relationship. Putting a lot of personal hopes, pressure, time, effort, and money into getting pregnant - only for it not to work can increase anxiety and depression symptoms. Miscarriages can often strain relationships or create a lot of self-doubt and “why me” moments.

 

How can therapy for infertility or pregnancy loss help?

Working with a therapist specializing in perinatal mental health can give you the support you need. In therapy, you might work on:

  • Learning how to manage stress or uncertainty effectively while doing what you can control

  • Navigating medical appointments/testing and self-advocacy

  • Processing feelings of sadness, disappointment, envy, shame, or anger

  • Exploring meaningful ways to grieve or process unexpected loss(es)

  • Addressing anxiety or depression with effective coping skills

  • Figuring out how to get the social support you want and need

  • Processing relationship strain or resentment

  • Challenging internalized ideas or self-blame that is unhelpful (e.g., there’s something wrong with me, if only I hadn’t done X)

  • Talking about new or unexpected difficulties with sex

  • Exploring your options and values (e.g., surrogacy, adoption, IVF or reciprocal IVF, donor eggs)

 

Mental health support for LGBTQ+ family planning

In addition to the existing significant stressors associated with infertility or pregnancy loss, we acknowledge that family planning for LGBTQ+ (and genderqueer) adults is often more complicated for many reasons, including less access to qualified or affirming medical care. In addition to common misconceptions associated with infertility (e.g., “it’s a female issue”) or pregnancy loss - experiencing heterosexism, transphobia, or invalidation about your family planning journey only compounds stress and loneliness. We are committed to being a safe space for you to receive the mental health support you deserve when facing infertility or miscarriage.

 

Types of therapy for infertility or pregnancy losses

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

CBT can help you notice the particular automatic thoughts, emotions, or behaviors coming up during this difficult time. By challenging and reframing unhelpful thought patterns or deeper beliefs, such as assuming the future or self-blame, you can learn to manage stress, grief, and uncertainty with greater balance and self-compassion.

Complicated Grief Therapy

CGT can help if you’re experiencing significant difficulty accepting or moving forward after pregnancy loss. While there are many reasons why grief may be prolonged, pregnancy losses are unique in that parents are grieving a future. When other people in your life aren’t able to share your experience of loss in the same ways, it can be harder to make sense of on your own.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness approaches can help you strengthen non-judgmental observation skills. You can observe your own body sensations, thoughts, or individual moments that signal stress or unresolved emotions. By bringing curious, intentional awareness to a moment, it can inform coping strategies, self-care, or planning throughout family planning.

Psychodynamic Therapy

Making the decision to have a child often brings up a lot - from life and partnership goals and desires, your own parent-child relationships, anxieties or insecurities about parenthood, and a huge life transition. When things don’t go as planned, all of this can get amplified. Exploring connections between past and present experiences can help you make important connections and gain clarity.

Multicultural Therapy

Multicultural therapy celebrates individual differences and all identities as equal and valuable. Infertility and pregnancy loss experiences can make us grapple with derailed life and relationship goals, which are gendered and heteronormative. Having space to discuss these thoughts and feelings openly is important to supporting your sense of self during a time of uncertainty.

 

NYC therapists for infertility and miscarriage

Our team of psychologists at Manhattan Therapy Collective are trained in a range of relational, multiculturally sensitive, and evidence-based therapy approaches for infertility and pregnancy losses, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Complicated Grief Therapy, and mindfulness interventions. We encourage you to reach out for support - we would love to connect with you and answer your questions.

While it may feel like a hard time to start therapy, especially if you’re feeling pressured to “move on” to the next step or IVF cycle, having a completely non-judgmental and neutral space to share whatever is on your mind makes a difference. Having regular support that prioritizes taking care of yourself and empowered decision-making can help you face what’s next. Whatever the future holds, our therapists will help you build a family or life that’s meaningful to you - even if it’s not the way you expected.