What to Expect when You End Therapy, According to our Therapists

By Drs Chen, Ekhelikar, Loo, McGlinchey, & Meli

What to expect when you end therapy

Your relationship with your therapist is such a unique one - and one aspect of its uniqueness is that you can talk about and plan for its ending. Ending therapy, or termination - as therapists call it - is part of the whole experience. Just as it takes time to open up and build trust with a new therapist, we also encourage you to take time to reflect on the process of wrapping up and saying goodbye.

At Manhattan Therapy Collective, we see termination as an opportunity.

Whether it’s to celebrate your progress and growth, talk about how you feel about transitions and change, or experience a positive end to a relationship for the first time - there’s so much potential in how you approach ending therapy.

We also know that endings can bring up a lot. You’ve put a lot into therapy, so this makes total sense. We want to share that it can bring up a lot for us as therapists too! The relationships we build with the people we’re privileged to work with are real and meaningful to us too. We’ve been deeply invested in your lives and wellbeing, and it’s a big change to part ways.

So, how can you make termination an opportunity? Our team of therapists answered the question:

What tips do you have for people as they end therapy?

Tip 1: Know that a range of feelings is normal.

Dr. Ekhelikar: You may start to experience a range of emotions as you and your therapist approach the final session - perhaps grief and sadness, feeling abandoned, frustration toward your therapist, or anxiety about the future. These complex feelings near a goodbye are completely normal. Your therapist is also likely feeling a mix of things as they navigate this ending, too! Discussing these emotions with your therapist is a salient part of the ending process.

Tip 2: Trust yourself.

Dr McGlinchey: I always hope people leave with the knowledge or feeling that therapy can be helpful to them again in the future, and they can trust themselves to make that decision. I often share this sentiment during termination sessions. I remind patients that they have grown strong enough to know ending therapy makes sense now - so they can trust they’ll also know if or when it’s a good time to seek therapy again in the future.

Tip 3: Get curious about what ending therapy brings up.

Dr Chen: Even when ending therapy feels right, mutual, and well-timed, saying goodbye can still stir up old anxieties, survival patterns, and attachment fears. It’s so common to feel fear, doubt, and uncertainty about what it means to go without a weekly safety net. None of these reactions mean you aren’t ready to graduate. When people are ready to end therapy, it’s never because they are ‘perfectly healed,’ but more because they’ve built enough internal and external resources to support and stabilize them than they had before.

Because of this, I encourage patients to approach ending therapy with a lot of curiosity and mindfulness. Keep bringing the messy, mixed emotions, and even the urge to avoid talking about the final session entirely, into the room. It’s a vital part of the process, and it offers one last opportunity to explore how your stories around relationships, emotions, and endings show up in real-time.

Tip 4: Allow space and time to talk about the relationship.

Dr Meli: Depending on the type of therapist you work with and the work you have done together over the course of your therapeutic relationship, termination can feel vastly different. I often include relational work in my therapy practice, meaning I help folks examine relationships - with self, friends, family, and even with me, their therapist. Since relational therapy is built around an authentic relationship between therapist and patient, termination can bring up a lot of complex feelings between you and your therapist and can highlight other experiences of relationship transitions, changes, or endings. As you near termination, I suggest that you allow yourself time and space to notice any emotions or reactions you might have about the relationship itself. Sharing them in the final sessions with your therapist can be a surprisingly meaningful experience.

Tip 5: Don’t avoid a real goodbye - but naming what you’re taking with helps.

Dr. Loo: Saying goodbye to your therapist can truly feel strange - even like a loss. It’s someone who knows some of your innermost feelings and personal experiences with extraordinary depth…and then one day you’re just not sharing anymore. The reality of that can be hard to digest.

Sometimes when ending, my patients will try and leave the door open to avoid experiencing a real goodbye. They’ll ask if they can email me from time to time or say how sure they are they’ll need to see me again for something else in the future. I get how strong this pull can be - I’m sad too! As bittersweet as goodbyes can be, I think they’re so helpful. They create intention in the time that’s left, they usually have a zoom out meaning-making effect, and they challenge you to move on with greater self-trust that yes - you can do this without us! I don’t want my patients to miss out on that just because goodbyes can be tough.

That being said - all key relationships leave a mark, and change is hard. So instead of avoiding an actual goodbye, I encourage my patients to name what they’re taking with them - whether that’s from me, our relationship, or our sessions. Maybe it’s the practice of a weekly pause, a toolbox of skills, a changed narrative or perspective, or the memory of being safely seen and known. So while the goodbye is real, we can take a piece with us from the people who helped us along the way.

How do I end therapy?

If you’re not sure when or how to end therapy, or maybe you’ve had bad therapy endings before - we encourage you to bring it up with your therapist if you can. You could try saying something like, “I’ve been thinking about ending therapy, but I’m not sure how to go about it. Can we talk about it?”

A therapy relationship is so unique because it often ends when things are going well - which is pretty counterintuitive for any other relationship. As experienced therapists, we get that - and we know the conversation or decision can still feel challenging. However, we do encourage you to take advantage of the opportunity if you can of having an ending that feels respectful, positive, and on your terms. Doing so can truly feel empowering and bring closure to a unique relationship and experience.

About the Authors: Drs Chen, Ekhelikar, Loo, McGlinchey, & Meli are dedicated therapists on the team at Manhattan Therapy Collective. They always welcome open conversations about how therapy is going and the decision to end therapy. Whether you’re in therapy for a short time or a long time, they believe any personal growth and investment in emotional flourishing is always worth celebrating.