Speaking Your Truth with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Part 2

By Peggy Loo, PhD

How our emotions & health influence our perspective

In Speaking Your Truth with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Part 1, I wrote about how much perception matters when it comes to truth-speaking, or the stories we tell ourselves and others. More importantly, being aware that the way we think about a situation can be incomplete or even inaccurate encourages us to be better observers of our lives so we refrain from drawing premature conclusions. Pretty heady stuff (pun intended). However, perception isn’t shaped only by what happens in our minds, but also by our emotions and physical bodies. Just as our preliminary thoughts or perceptions of a situation may be limited or biased and benefit from re-evaluation (see Part 1), our emotions and physical health may generate an incomplete picture of what’s happening and gain from appraisal. Let me give you an example. 

Remember the last time you were “hangry”? What happened? If it was anything like what happens when I forget/am too busy/too stressed to eat, I experience low energy, irritability, hunger pangs, brain fog, and relatedly, everything seems twice as challenging and everyone seems twice as annoying!  I find something to eat, and mercifully - things seem alright again. I am re-energized, I am no longer distracted by my hunger, and I perceive myself (and others) with a more balanced perspective. 

If this sounds familiar, you have experienced the multidirectional and interdependent relationship that physical sensations, emotions, and perceptions have with each other. What we experience in our bodies, what we feel in the moment, and what we notice in a situation are always connected. This connection is made most obvious when one piece is “off” (i.e., when we forget to eat) and we experience the cascade of consequences on the other pieces! Now imagine that at the end of my hangry day, the story I told myself was that being emotionally overwhelmed or physically exhausted meant that I was somehow inadequate or unsuccessful that day. Or that because I found others extremely annoying, that I may not be a people-person. What a distorted sense of the truth!

The truth about emotions: the good, bad, & ugly

Emotions are vital, unique, and a beautiful part of being human. All emotions (including the uncomfortable ones) tell us a lot of information - often faster than the rate our thoughts are processed - and add depth and color to our lives. Where we get into trouble is when an initial feeling or a strong emotional response is accepted without question. Just as our initial impressions of situation can be limited and contain bias, so can how we interpret emotions.

Emotional reasoning is a common interpretation where “if I feel it, it must be true”. In other words, the very existence of a feeling gives it meaning and weight. Often the stronger the emotion, the stronger the emotional reasoning! I see this often with women socialized into conventional gender roles. Since a high value is placed on caretaking and hyper-responsibility for others, it is easy to believe “if I feel guilty (because someone is upset with me), I must have done something wrong”.The tricky thing is - this MAY be true, however it may not be! She may have acted wrongfully, and feeling guilt elicits self-reflection and acceptance of responsibility. But what if her actions were completely appropriate but subverted gendered expectations, which triggered reflexive and culturally inculcated guilt? She may then misunderstand the reason for her sense of guilt, which will lead her further astray. While emotions are experiential and informative by nature, emotional reasoning overestimates the occurrence of a feeling over its context. It is important to understand emotions alongside facts (as illustrated in the hangry example above) in order for them to serve us well. 

The mind-body connection is real

Physical sensations or symptoms, energy levels, and general health are key factors that relate to perception. Exhaustion, hunger, pain, and illness are common physical experiences that often negatively impact how we think, feel, and even experience our bodies. Physical injury, intoxication, the side effects of medication or even chronic stress are additional physical states that can cloud judgment and mute mood, and change our experience of our senses. Consider the last time you were sleep deprived or had a headache during a meeting or an important conversation. Not only was it likely distracting, it probably made focusing, engagement, and the usual physical tasks of conversation (e.g., eye contact, refraining from fidgeting, all the non-verbal cues signaling attention) more challenging. Any change to our physical well-being requires a commissioning of internal resources to the area of our body needing care - and this usually happens without us noticing. While it is impressive that our bodies can carry on and function in a variety of physical states and circumstances - being unaware of how much energy is being taxed leaves us vulnerable to misjudging our circumstances. In fact, being physically depleted lends itself to greater emotional reasoning and perception errors. Simply ask any new parent or graduate student and they will provide plenty of personal evidence! 

Now that we acknowledge the connection between our emotions, physical health, and perception - which may benefit from reappraisal, what can we do? Try mindfulness.

What is the definition of mindfulness?

A simple definition of mindfulness is being present to the moment you are in, without judgment - which goes a long way when it comes to learning to recognize our feelings and  physical states. Perhaps a deceptively simple concept, the practice of mindfulness is uniquely challenging in New York City and arguably countercultural in today’s tech age where we are usually more attuned to the play by play of our social media accounts than our moods. In order for us to see the connections we just explored, we have to be able to notice them in real time. Not particularly mindful? Not a problem. It is a skill set that takes practice like any other. 

Pick a small, consistent part of your daily commute (e.g., the last block on the walk to the train station, the time on the platform as you transfer, the wait in line for coffee or the elevator) and make it a point to check how your body is feeling at that same point for 3 days in a row. For example, how would you rate your energy level on a scale of 1 to 10? Do you notice any muscle tension or pain in your feet? Are you thirsty or hungry, or are your allergies okay or intolerable that day? What two or three words would you use to describe your mood at that moment? Once you are able to practice this three days in a row, can you pick two points in your commute or another part of your day? Introducing regular “check points” for mindfulness is a wonderful way to start.

About the Author: Dr. Peggy Loo is the director of MTC. The way she practices mindfulness the most these days is taking walks with her dog, Hamilton (who is expert at being present to what is in front of him) and giving in to his many requests for belly rubs.