Can't Sleep? The Surprising Tip That Can Help You Sleep

By Eleanor McGlinchey, PhD

As a clinical psychologist who specializes in sleep, I usually spend my time persuading people to sleep more or helping my patients improve poor sleep. I find that a key part of getting more sleep is making sure people know that they are going to be okay on those inevitable nights when they can’t sleep. Even the best sleepers have nights when sleep is elusive and they end up wide awake at a time when most are out cold. Most of the time, a sleepless night is a one-off thing and sleep returns to normal the next night. However, sometimes there are sleep related and psychological processes at play that can make that off night a more difficult problem to fix. Knowing how sleep works and how you might be unintentionally sabotaging the likelihood of sleep can help you get back on track. 

How sleep works

Sleep is regulated by two processes, referred to as process S and process C. Process S is also known as the sleep process and describes the biological drive that we all have to sleep, which strengthens the longer we are awake. In other words, the more consecutive hours we spend awake, the greater the urge, or sleep pressure, we feel to go to sleep because of process S. (When we sleep or nap, sleep pressure resets or decreases.) Process C is the circadian process. It runs on a roughly 24 hour cycle and one of its jobs is to dictate to your body the best times for alertness and wake time, which is often synced to daylight. While these two processes are interrelated, they also run independently of each other – which is to our huge advantage. For example, you might notice when you’ve pulled an all-nighter (regardless of the reason) that you actually don’t feel as sleepy between breakfast and lunchtime as you think you should. That’s because although you are continuing to acquire sleep pressure via process S, your circadian process (process C) is telling your body that it is the late morning - which is when you are most likely to feel wakeful in a typical 24-hour day. What’s important to remember is that process C occurs regardless of the quality or quantity of your prior night’s sleep. I often tell my patients and friends that we can actually use these ongoing sleep and circadian processes to our benefit! If you have a night (or a few nights) of not sleeping very well, you can take heart that your process C will signal alertness and help you make it through the day. You can also rely on the fact that when you get little sleep, your process S builds even larger throughout the following day so that you have extra sleep pressure to strongly encourage sleep that night.

What causes insomnia? Maybe not that coffee you had..

You might remember that I mentioned there is also a psychological process that factors into sleep. There are things that we can do or even think that can override process S and C. Obviously, if you drink a pot of coffee right before bed, it can chemically override your ability to feel sleep pressure, or the effects or process S. However, even if you are following sleep hygiene recommendations perfectly, your thoughts can also override your sleep processes. In fact, sometimes our thoughts can be more powerful than that late night pot of coffee in terms of turning on all the arousal systems in our bodies and brains – which is the opposite of what we are hoping for! Nighttime thoughts like “I can’t believe I’m still awake!” or “I have so much to do tomorrow, I need to get to sleep in the next hour or else I’ll never be able to make it through the day!” are classic examples of thinking that have an activating impact on us, even if we are in bed with the lights off. Unfortunately, anxious nighttime thoughts can also lead to dismal assessments in the morning as well, such as, “I slept so little last night, I’m going to be so tired all day!” This line of thinking can obviously become a self-fulfilling prophecy as we might keep scanning for ways that we are super tired all day. 

How to get better sleep? Knowing you will be okay is a huge start

So, what can you do? One thing that has helped me on those inevitable nights of poor sleep is to challenge my sleepless thoughts with what I referenced above; the knowledge that process C is going to help me get through the next day and that process S is going to help me fall asleep more easily tomorrow night. The truth that our bodies automatically trend towards helping us weather the less than ideal circumstances and get back on track is a powerful fact that can lessen our stress about poor sleep or fatigue. I also do my best to make more hopeful assessments in the morning. Saying things to myself like “I may have a little less energy today, but let’s focus on the fun and exciting things in the day” and then be gentle and kind to myself when I feel low energy makes the day more manageable. We can even be thankful that we are designed to be adaptable with the amount of sleep we get in a given night. Maybe today or tonight, you can remind yourself that even without the ideal amount of sleep, you will be okay. Paradoxically, knowing you will be okay makes it more likely that you can enjoy your day and get to sleep tonight.

About the Therapist: Dr. Eleanor McGlinchey generally tries to practice what she preaches and keeps her process S and process C aligned. However, when in vacation mode, she has been known to enjoy staying up late and sleeping in. Thankfully she has some helpful NYC early birds who get her back on track whenever she returns by loudly cooing outside her bedroom window in the morning.