The Art of Getting By On Fumes
By Dr. Aasha Foster-Mahfuz
How covid has affected our mental health
When I first started writing this post, COVID infections had started to increase. Again. And there were whispers that the vaccines would be available soon. The original post was delicately optimistic with a twinge of melancholy just under the surface. I reflected on some observations I’ve made as a psychologist in a large public hospital. Poignant ruminations about fear, safety, justice and survival that eventually gave way to increased awareness of the fragility of optimism. (Perhaps that will be the title of my next book!). I discussed how optimism becomes vulnerable to elimination in the face of a relenting stressor with aftershocks creating crevices in the foundation of resilience. Then recollected on the ways that I’d try to protect that optimism--increasing things that bring me joy and reducing the exposure to things that bring me down. At this point, the post became a bit of a metacognition (thinking about thoughts) exercise as I became more aware of how worn and tired I felt. I recalled having a “lock and load” mentality back in March 2020 to brace myself for whatever was coming.
But today, the vaccine is here! While it may take a while for the majority of folks to become vaccinated, its presence is hope inspiring. It changed my whole mood and inspired me to rewrite this blog post. Instead of lamenting the fact that I felt like we’re all just getting by on fumes, I decided to reframe it as an art. The process of creating art doesn’t always look beautiful nor does it give us hints of what the final result will be. But artists embrace the process in favor of manifesting their vision. This same principle can be applied to getting by when your usual coping strategies are limited.
In some ways, I feel that being a woman of color and, specifically a Black woman, has afforded me many experiences where I’ve learned to be mindful of my limits, and creative in the ways that I care for myself and others. This is my way of pushing back against the racist and sexist idea of being a “superwoman.” This is my way of nurturing Optimism for myself.
How to be optimistic in 2021
As we usher in 2021, here are a few ways to reflect, regroup and forge ahead no matter what the next year will bring.
One of the most powerful tools to help challenging self-defeating thoughts is the cognitive reframe. Yes, this year has been rough for all sorts of reasons--some are personal while others are globally or locally shared. I love this reframe from NYC radio personality and author, Charlemagne tha God: “Plot twist 00 has actually been the best year of your life. You’ve faced challenge after challenge, you’ve adapted, and you’ve overcome. 2020 has forced you to grow exponentially. Don’t take that for granted.”
Take stock of your year. Acknowledge the grief, the annoyance, the resentments and give them their due. This can literally be a scroll through your social media posts or camera roll. A LOT of things happened this year that the pandemic seems to have overshadowed. What will you recall or rediscover?
Similarly reflect on the ways that you’ve surprised yourself this year. Is there something you didn’t think you could do, but you managed to do it anyway? Such as surviving a pandemic, wildfires, cabin fever, and/or virtual learning/teaching?
Do a body scan. Apps such as Headspace, Calm, and Liberate Mediation have excellent guides for how to do this. Notice any tension anywhere in your body. Imagine, if that tension or pain could talk. What would it say? How can you respond? Breathing into those places sometimes works. Headspace has a new meditation show coming out on Netflix on Jan 1st.
Reach out to your friends or family members to do some of these activities with. Sure, it’s another virtual meeting, but spreading the love and connecting with others is a way to fill your cup enough so that you can face another day.
About the Author: Dr. Aasha Foster-Mahfuz is a NYS licensed psychologist who believes that therapists can be a special kind of battle buddy while the world seems to be falling apart. She hopes that at the end of a 45 minute session, clients feel a little more invigorated and empowered to face another day.